Last updated: March 2024
For nearly two decades, Michael French has suffered from a variety of illnesses which have had a big impact on his health and wellbeing, but his fighting spirit and warm smile has stayed constant throughout it all.
With his wife, Ann, by his side, Michael has battled his illnesses with calm determination and the couple has met any challenge together with a positive attitude. So, when Michael was told that he needed palliative care in 2023, Michael and Ann faced it in the same way, with St Margaret’s Hospice by their side supporting them.
Michael and Ann receive support at home from one of St Margaret’s Community Nurse Specialists, Ralph, who visits the couple regularly to care for Michael and the couple said he’s made a huge difference to their lives.
“When Michael was first referred to St Margaret’s I did feel upset,” Ann explained. “I felt sad that there was n
othing else they could do for him, but I knew we had to make the most out of every day.”
“Ralph, one of St Margaret’s Community Nurses, comes out to see me regularly. He’s such a lovely person and is really on the ball,” Michael said. “If we ever have any questions or if there’s anything we need he will sort it out for us.
“For example, I recently told Ralph that I needed some new slippers to help with my walking and I’d seen some on the NHS website which he said he’d try and get for me. He’s also been great at suggesting new medications for me to try to help with my pain or itching I sometimes get which have been really helpful.
“Sometimes I have issues walking and can find it hard stay on my feet for long periods of time. I told Ralph about this and he arranged for a physiotherapist to come and see me at home which was wonderful. She gave me some exercises which I do every day, and I am already seeing a difference.
“The thing I love about Ralph is that he’s never a hurry,” Ann added. “He’s relaxed when he comes in to see us, and always has time to sit and talk to us. He’s taken the time to get to know us, and always gives as much time is needed to make sure Michael has everything he needs.
“I do find caring for Michael hard sometimes and I think Ralph knows that. He always checks up on me when he comes to visit which means a lot.
“If you ever need support from the hospice, they will be there for you. All you need to do is pick up the phone and call the Adviceline and they will give you all the support you need. Every time I’ve spoken to the nurses on the Adviceline they’ve been really helpful and made sure we’ve got all the support we’ve needed.”
Michael and Ann said they ‘can’t fault’ the support St Margaret’s has given them, and Ralph has helped to make difficult conversations about Michael’s care in the future easier.
“The care that Ralph has given me has definitely been more personal than any other care I’ve had before, it’s been one to one care which has been amazing. It’s reassuring to know that he cares so much about us,” Michael said. “We have spoken to Ralph about what my wishes are for when I become more unwell in the future.
“I’ve been straight to the point and honest about what my wishes are in the future, like Ann caring for me at home, and Ralph has done nothing but listened, advised, and helped us to get these plans in place.”
Michael and Ann recently celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary and said their love for each other has helped them to face Michael’s illness together. They said they would encourage people to support the hospice so more people like Michael can benefit from their support.
“My illness has had a big impact on our lives. It’s bit been an easy journey, but we’ve had support along the way,” Michael said. “My motto is to ‘Wear it, bear it and keep going’. Sometimes I am in pain and it’s taxing, but I just take each day as it comes with Ann by my side.
“I don’t know how long I have left, I could be here for a month, a year, or a few years, I just don’t know but what I do know is that I am going to make the most of it.”
“Every day, I feel grateful that Michael is here with me. I wake up in the morning and give him a big hug and say, ‘morning Michael, here’s to another day’ and it helps me to get through each day,” Ann added. “I’m very independent and feel reassured that I have support from the hospice in the future as Michael becomes more unwell. I can’t imagine what life will be like without him but there’s nothing I can do to alter this situation.
“My advice to anyone who is using St Margaret’s for the first-time is don’t be scared. They are wonderful, you need them, and they will be there for you through this.”
“It’s a necessity to let these amazing people come and support you, so please support them. They may such a difference to me and many others like me and I want them to be there for others in the future.”