Kath & Rob’s Story

Rob, a lorry driver, had spent most of his time away from home.  Only recently Rob had been able to get a job close by and was focusing on getting fit and his partner Kath had sorted out a running machine and cross trainer for him.

However, in February 2024 he began to complain of back pain and went to the hospital.  This was when they identified that Rob was suffering from far more than a bad back and following a lung cancer diagnosis, was referred to the hospice in March. After his discharge from hospital he was visited by one of the St Margaret’s Community Specialists, Natalie.

“When Rob came out of the hospital he was in pain and was scared of being at home. Those 5 days between coming home from the hospital and coming here were just a nightmare. It was too much and then Natalie suggested we come here and you all, you’re all just so wonderful. Here in the hospice, Rob felt he could relax, and we could relax as a family together, and that was lovely as I don’t think we would have been able to cope at home.”

Jack, their 17-year-old son talked about the marked difference when they transferred their care to the hospice, “St Margaret’s Hospice is not like a hospital where it’s loud and everyone is rushing about and they haven’t got time to speak to you.  You feel welcome. Everyone is so lovely, it doesn’t feel like they’re doing a job, it feels like having a friend.”

Rob and Kath had been together for 24 years but never got around to getting married – they had always said they were going to disappear and get married and then come back to tell everyone. It was in the hospice that they knew it was something they wanted to do. And it was all hands-on deck from people across the hospice to make their dream come true and help them find their joy.

With the help of the nursing team – a cuddle bed was moved into their room which was decorated with pretty yellow bunting, Ann, the Spiritual Care Coordinator arranged for the Doctor’s medical letter and acted as the hospice liaison with Somerset Registrar’s Office to enable the couple to apply for General Registrar’s Licence for an emergency wedding, as well as a registrar to perform the ceremony. A flower arranging volunteer was due to arrange flowers and a bouquet for Kath and the catering team prepared a wedding cake. Sadly, Rob’s condition deteriorated and the wedding that was planned for Monday was moved forward to Saturday afternoon. The whole team stepped up to bring forward all the arrangements by two days in a matter of hours.

Kath’s biggest worry was Rob not being able to partake fully in the ceremony, but with the help from Rob’s medical team, his medication was adjusted to manage his pain, whilst allowing him to be present in the moment. “He said his vows and even had a little joke. Before that day he’d struggled to stay awake, but on our wedding day, he stayed awake the whole day.” The newlywed couple celebrated with a drink in the Taunton Hospice Garden with a few of their family with them.

Kath and Jack, have nothing but positive things to say about all of the team who have been involved with the care and their wedding saying “what has been a nightmare situation has been made easier by all of you – you are all so wonderful”, she continued “Ann is just a miracle worker and no-one at the hospice will judge you, for how you deal with things. Whether you want to laugh or cry, there is always someone there to have a chat and to laugh with, and not forgetting the hugs – there are so many hugs, anytime I wanted or needed one, someone was there. Rob was always one for a laugh – you’d see his face light up when the nurses came in. He’s always been one for the ladies, so being able to have a banter with them in his final days was such a small but significant thing for him.”