Rob, an active and friendly man, spent 9 years in the Air Force before transitioning to the nuclear armed police. His career took him all over the country, earning him a reputation for his strength and kindness. Ultimately, he came to Hinkley Point, living in Bridgwater where he met Alison ten years ago. “He was very renowned for who he was,” Alison reflects. “Everyone knew him as a lovely, kind person.
“He was incredible with my daughters,” she continues. “I have a video of him doing a charity press-up challenge with Emily on his back.”
Throughout his career, Rob witnessed many significant events. Rob worked at the G4 conference in Newquay, responded to the Manchester bombings, provided security at the Queen’s funeral, and even let Larry the cat in at number 10.
That’s what he was really good at. Protecting.”Alison
Being an ex-military man, Rob maintained a fit and active lifestyle. He ran the London Marathon twice, participated in numerous 10k races, half-marathons, and always went to the gym. Alison says, “He even encouraged me to do a 10k, and I’m not a runner! We did that in Brighton together, which was wonderful.”
He was also very social, keeping a wide circle of amazing friends, many of whom were fellow police officers. They did lots of things as a group: many amazing walks and challenges.
But everything changed in June 2023.
On June 2, Alison received a call from a neighbour. Rob had collapsed.
After being rushed to Musgrove Hospital and suffering seizures, Rob was diagnosed with a grade 4 glioblastoma, an aggressive and incurable cancer. “They couldn’t fix it,” Alison recalls. ” He had surgery to remove the smaller tumour, but the larger one was too deep to be operated on.” Rob was given 14 months to live.
Facing this harsh reality, Alison and Rob decided to finally marry. “We’d been together for years, but we’d never got around to it,” Alison shares. “He proposed out on the canal in Taunton.” They planned the wedding around Rob’s treatments trying to get him at his best, but his condition was unpredictable.
We were married at Crowcombe Court and they couldn't have been any more accommodating, luckily Rob was well enough on the day, and we had the best day ever.”Alison
However, Rob’s health was on the decline. The doctors in Bristol told Alison there was nothing more they could do as his tumours were spreading and his seizures were becoming more frequent. He and Alison were referred to St Margaret’s Hospice for palliative care, where they met Mary, a community nurse.
At first, Rob was hesitant about hospice care. He struggled to reconcile the active lifestyle he wanted to live with the limitations of his illness. “He used to say, ‘don’t let Mary come down,’ because he didn’t like needing help,” Alison recalls with a laugh. “But she was amazing. She was so lovely.”
Community care
As Alison cared for Rob at home, the hospice team remained in contact, offering advice and support. They brought the necessary equipment to assist with his mobility and comfort. “He was quite wobbly at times,” Alison recalls. “They provided a frame to help him get around, though Rob, being the proud man he was, would say, ‘You can get rid of that.’”
The In-Patient Unit
In January, Rob’s medication began to cause problems with his liver, which in turn led to hallucinations. The St Margaret’s team decided to admit him to the In-Patient Unit for closer monitoring and to adjust his medication.
During this time, St Margaret’s went above and beyond, offering them their one and only cuddle bed.
It was a special bed that could stretch out into a double so that I could sleep with him, and we could cuddle. It was just so nice. We would cuddle, we would watch TV, we could do anything we wanted."Alison
But the team were mindful that Rob didn’t want to be there all of the time. “They didn’t mind if we went out during the day for lunch or just to get some fresh air, and we’d return in the evening for his medication,” Alison says. “There must be so many people who need them, but they look after you.”
The couple stayed on the In-Patient Unit for a week and then returned home once Rob’s medication stabilised. The community teams continued to visit and offer their suport.
They were there every step of the way. You don’t have to be in the actual hospice for them to be there."Alison
“They ring you regularly, they pop round. I never felt alone,” says Alison. She could call someone for advice at all times, and the hospice provided at-home support, arranged carers, and ensured their home was fitted with everything Rob needed.
Making memories
The hospice gave Rob and Alison the time to be together, to make lasting memories, and to make the most of the time that they had left. Taking advantage of the improvement of his medication, Rob and Alison made a special trip to York, a place they’d always talked about visiting together. Friends drove them, as Rob was unable to travel by train. “We had such a wonderful weekend there, and it meant so much to us both,” Alison says.
Rob also had a big presentation to commemorate his 20 years of service with the Police forces. “We sat with the chief constable, and they made such a fuss of him.”
The couple stayed on the In-Patient Unit for a week and then returned home once Rob’s medication stabilised. The community teams continued to visit and offer their support
Even while living at home, Rob still visited the Sunflower Centre, where he was able to access therapies, support and fun activities. “At Easter time, they planted primroses and painted pots. It was so funny because he’d never done anything like that, but then he presented it to me. It’s in the garden, and I always notice it because it’s such a bright yellow compared to the other primroses.”
They were there every step of the way. You don’t have to be in the actual hospice for them to be there."Alison
They ring you regularly, they pop round. I never felt alone,” says Alison. She could call someone for advice at all times, and the hospice provided at-home support, arranged carers, and ensured their home was fitted with everything Rob needed.
Final days
“The night before he died it was really hard,” Alison remembers. “There was a nurse who stayed with me all the time, holding my hand.”
Alison was able to lay with Rob on the cuddle bed during his final hours. “I laid on the bed with him, just talking to him. And then he just went. I sat with him for about half an hour, not really sure what to do. Then I rang the bell, and the nurse came in and said, ‘He’s gone.’”
“The nurses cried with me,” Alison recalls. “They were just so respectful. They knew what to do because they’ve dealt with it before. They were so humane. I remember the nurse said, ‘You stay with him as long as you want to. When you’re ready, you’ll know when to go.’
I lay with him for a couple of hours, and when I left him, I knew I’d never see him again.”Alison
Fundraising for another cuddle bed
Though Alison feels profound grief after Rob’s death, she is deeply grateful for the care they received at St Margaret’s. “They loved Rob, and they really got to know him,” she says. “Now, I want to raise money for St Margaret’s. Now, I want to raise money for St Margaret’s, especially for the cuddle beds that made such a difference to us. It keeps his memory alive.”
In February, Alison swam 10k in 14 days, completing 500 lengths of the pool. “I started on Valentine’s Day because Rob was romantic,” Alison shares. Her initial goal of £500 was surpassed quickly, and along with Rob’s friend Richie (who did a skydive in Rob’s name), £4500 has been raised for a new cuddle bed! “Rob’s friends are also planning their own fundraising for the cuddle bed,” she adds, reflecting on the outpouring of support. “There’s so much you can do, from bike rides to Pen y Fan, to skydiving! It’s whatever floats your boat.”
Alison’s experience with St Margaret’s completely reshaped her perspective on hospice care. “Before St Margaret’s, I found the idea of a hospice absolutely scary. We were in hospitals a lot, and as fabulous as they were, it was very different. You’re on the periphery of what’s going on, you feel like you’re in the way, they don’t have as much time.
At St Margaret's, I felt like we were just having a little stay somewhere. It’s like a little family. Everybody knew everybody and everybody was caring. They quickly get to know who you are and what your preferences are."Alison
Through the trials they faced together, from Rob’s diagnosis to his passing, Alison is determined to honour the support they received from St Margaret’s by giving back. “No one should have to go through this, but many people do,” she says.
I want to raise funds so more people can experience the care we did: so that more people can have a cuddle bed, like us.”Alison
