“We just clicked straight away,” says Kath, remembering the night she met Rob in Burnham-on-Sea. Chatty and full of warmth, Rob asked for her number – and just a month later, he’d moved in.
It was the beginning of a 24-year partnership filled with laughter, spontaneity, and deep connection. A long-distance lorry driver by trade and a magnetic personality by nature, Rob made friends wherever he went. “He always had lots of friends,” says Kath with a laugh. “No matter where he went, he’d always make new ones.”
He was happiest with a Thatchers in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and his music playing.
“We loved to go camping together. He’d phone me on the Friday before he was due to get home from work and say, ‘Kath, get the car packed, we’re going camping.’ We had a little two-man tent, a stove, and that was it. No bookings – we’d end up all over the place.”
Jack fondly remembers their father-son adventures. “He’d take me to the speedway every week. We’d get there really early just to sit there in the field, set up camp, and relax. And when the racing season was over, we’d go fishing and camping in all sorts of odd places – stone beaches with no bed, no quilt, just us and a two-man tent.”
Rob was endlessly curious “He loved the supernatural,” Kath says, “He even started a little paranormal group with friends and went out with his ghost gadgets.”
But his greatest fascination was the stars. “He could talk about them for hours,” says Jack.
That connection to the night sky inspired Kath and Jack to tell their story in support of Light Up a Life – which offers people a chance to dedicate a star in honour of lost loved ones.
The first signs
Life shifted on a New Year’s Eve visit to Wales. “We stayed on an air bed and Rob woke up saying he had a terrible backache. At the time we just blamed the bed,” Kath recalls. But despite massage, pain killers, and rest, the pain lingered for weeks.
“He’d started doing more physical exercise,” Jack says. “So, we just blamed it on that.”
But by February 21st, Rob was in agony. “We’re not a very sympathetic family,” Kath admits with a smile. “If you’re poorly, it’s paracetamol and get on with it. But that morning he said, ‘I can’t cope with this pain anymore, I’m going to take myself to A&E.’ I told him to ring me once he knew what was going on.”
By midday, Kath received the call. Doctors had found a lump in his sacrum. “It turned out to be lung cancer that had already spread to many different places,” she says.
The family was quickly referred to St Margaret’s. “Natalie, a community nurse, came out to see us,” Kath remembers. “From the start she was absolutely fantastic. It was good to be given the reassurance, knowing there was someone there.”
From medication advice to equipment at home, Natalie supported them every step of the way.
Rob began radiotherapy on 3 April – Kath’s birthday. “He told me not to worry – that next year we’d do something special,” she remembers.
But the cancer took its toll – spreading to his bones and resulting in a broken leg. “He lost a lot of weight,” Jack recalls. “All of his muscle.”
The pain medication that Rob was on at that time was very strong and highly controlled, and when they were discharged from the hospital, they only had enough to get him through to that evening. “I can remember sitting in my car, and the thought of going home and not being able to give him his medication, and him having to go all night without his medication – it absolutely terrified me. I don’t know what I would have done without Natalie that day – she managed to find us enough to get through the weekend.”
Coming to the hospice
Soon after, Rob was offered a place on the In-Patient Unit to help him manage his pain. “He was too scared to be at home because he didn’t want it to happen again, and he was terrified of going back to hospital,” Kath says. “He came in on the Thursday, and straight away he was chuffed, he loved it. The nurses and doctors were absolutely lovely.”
The hospice’s care gave them the chance to just be a family again.
Here in the hospice, Rob felt he could relax, and we could relax as a family together, and that was lovely as I don’t think we would have been able to cope at home.”Kath
“Whether you want to laugh or cry, there is always someone there to have a chat and to laugh with, and not forgetting the hugs – there are so many hugs, anytime I wanted or needed one, someone was there. Rob was always one for a laugh – you’d see his face light up when the nurses came in. He’s always been one for the ladies, so being able to have a banter with them in his final days was such a small but significant thing for him.”
To allow them to stay close to Rob, the family were given use of the Sunflower Suite. “It was nice to be able to go back in there and just have five minutes on your own,” Kath says.
For Jack, the hospice gave him the chance to spend some special father-son time with his dad. “I brought my tablet, and we used to play games together. He loved quizzes, word games, and Who Wants to be a Millionaire. We spent hours trying to win that game.”
The next Wednesday, they had another appointment at the hospital. “We thought that was going to be the appointment where we’d get the date to start his chemotherapy – but it wasn’t.”
That was the day that they said – that’s it. There’s nothing else we can do.”Kath
The wedding
Returning to the hospice, Kath remembered they talked about the one thing they’d never done – get married. “We had always said that we would only marry when we were old and grey, or if we ran away and didn’t tell anyone until we got back.”
She knew that they wanted to do it while they still could.
With the help of the nursing team – a cuddle bed was moved into their room which was decorated with pretty yellow bunting, Ann, the Spiritual Care Lead, helped the couple get a license for an emergency wedding, as well as a registrar to perform the ceremony. A flower arranging volunteer was due to arrange flowers and a bouquet for Kath, and the catering team prepared a wedding cake. Sadly, Rob’s condition deteriorated and the wedding that was planned for Monday was moved forward to Saturday afternoon. The whole team stepped up to bring forward all the arrangements by two days in a matter of hours.
Kath’s biggest worry was Rob not being able to partake fully in the ceremony, but with the help from Rob’s medical team, his medication was adjusted to manage his pain, whilst allowing him to be present in the moment.
He said his vows and even had a little joke. Before that day he’d struggled to stay awake, but on our wedding day, he stayed awake the whole day.”Kath
Despite the shifted plans, Ann even crafted a bouquet from wild garlic flowers – bringing back some special memories. “That was one of the things me and Rob always used to do – when we were up on the hills, we’d look for the wild garlic and pick it and smell it.”
It was a perfect day that gave the family the chance to craft special memories. “Afterwards, he had a can of Thatchers, like he always used to. All the kids were there; we had food, a little party, and the hospice kitchen staff made us a cake. It was so special,” Kath remembers. They even wheeled Rob outside into the sunshine – a small gesture that meant the world to him. He’d worked hard on his own garden at home, and used to love spending long days under the sun.
Kath will never forget the power of that special day.
You all lifted a weight off of our shoulders and gave us time to be a family, to enjoy our time with him and find our joy.”Kath
Rob’s legacy
“What got me with Rob,” Kath reflects, “was that from the very first time he found out, he accepted everything so well. He’d say, yeah, I don’t want to go, but I’ve had a good life, I’ve had a good innings, I’m not going to be sad.”
His family carry that spirit forward. “We went to Egypt in memory of him, to see the place he always wanted to go,” Kath says.
Jack adds, “On the plane, we played Who Wants to be a Millionaire on his tablet. We finally won it – it felt like a sign.”
To give back, the family has thrown themselves into fundraising.
“I ran 15 miles a day – 100 miles in a week – to raise money for the hospice,” says Jack. “It raised around £1,200. It was a challenge, but it felt like it was going to a good cause. I was really happy to put in the effort and raise that money.”
Kath and the family continue to fundraise – taking part in the Sunflower Stroll last year, and the Ultra Hike in September.
Remembering the stars that Rob could talk about for hours, Kath and Jack have shared their story to support our Light Up a Life appeal, where dedications can be made to lost loved ones in the form of stars in a night sky. For them, it was the perfect way to honour their beloved husband and father who found such joy in the stars, and to help light the way for others experiencing loss.
Light up a Life
To commemorate Rob's memory as a man who loved the night sky, Kath and Jack are sharing their story as part of our 2025 Light up a Life appeal. Dedications can be made to remember lost loved ones over the winter season – whether they were cared for by St Margaret's or not. Every dedication helps the hospice continue to provide care to families like Kath, Jack, and Rob.
